The “Kindergarchy,” AAU, and Healthy Parenting

            I’ve been away on vacation and study leave, so it’s been awhile since I’ve posted.  I hope to post at least twice a week from now on, so stay tuned…

 

            While I was away, my brother, Rich, sent me a link to a worthwhile article in the Weekly Standard by Joseph Epstein, “The Kindergarchy.”  In the article, Epstein questions the child-focused (read: child-obsessed) parenting of today, particularly by comparison to the parenting of a generation or two ago.  Children have become the focal-point of parents’ lives, leading to many unhealthy consequences, including self-centered delusions of the children.

            One area where the “Kindergarchy” is evident is the parenting of child- or student-athletes.  Parents become concerned (obsessed?) that their children get into all the right camps, have all the right equipment, get all the best coaching, and play on as many teams as possible so that they will “succeed.”  In Iowa, one of the sports idols that contributes to this “Kindergarchy” is AAU.  When I think of what I have seen and experienced in AAU, I feel a mix of sorrow and anger.

            It breaks my heart to see families disrupted and focused on their children’s participation in sports.  Long trips to tournaments and games every weekend feeds the insatiable monster that never cries “Enough!”  The lie that spurs this on is that if you want your child to play Varsity in high school or earn a college sports scholarship, you’ve got to get them into AAU and into as many camps and programs as you can.  What is the result?

-       Children who think that they are the center of the world, as their parents cater to their every (sporting) whim. 

-       Children who get burned out working on sports skills, instead of enjoying the delight of playing. 

-       Families that are grossly misshapen by unrelenting sports schedules.

-       Too-often disappointing results, as those who are “athletes” will “succeed” in sports, whether or not they follow the AAU – Camp – Tournament routine or not. 

“Soccer-Mom” should be considered an insult – why don’t the moms & dads have a healthy life full of real involvement church, ministry, and in their own hobbies and enjoyment?  I am angered when I think of all the otherwise able parents in congregations and communities who have used their children’s activities, including sports, as an excuse for not getting involved in worthwhile causes.

Shouldn’t sports be fun?  Parents (through what I believe to be originally well-intentioned organizations like AAU and Little League) have organized the play out of the games and made the games into work for everyone involved – children and parents.  (I can’t believe how much is expected of parents of student-athletes in high school these days.  Parents were hardly involved “back in the day,” and sports programs functioned just fine.  Now it’s another insatiable monster that never cries “Enough!”)  The parents should “put away childish things” and get involved in healthy adult activities and let the kids have fun on their own.  But then, maybe the problem is that the parents are still trying to live out their childhoods vicariously through their children. 

But that’s a whole other blog entry.